The No Clothes State

The sunscreen takeover began in aisle seven of Health & Beauty. Following California's declaration as a No Clothes State, off-brand sunscreens cropped up to invade the store shelves. The lotions cleared out first, dead stock once UV skincare doubled as moisturizer.

Soon, the entire aisle showcased sunscreens, segregated like liquors by color, type, and strength - cream versus copper, scented or not, SPF numbers climbing by the tens.

Those who refused the product stood out with their pink complexion, rubbed raw by daytime rays. In a marketing ploy, Banana Boat featured commercials mocking toasted skin, choosing unattractive actors to play unwanted hermits. The strategy failed, however, and what came instead was a statewide boycott of the brand.

Consumer analysts - floored by California’s solidarity - enlisted reporters to take to the streets and hear from the people. One such woman offered, “We’re vulnerable enough as it is.”

Inside the store, the sunscreens spread into neighboring aisles, claiming mascara racks and lip gloss displays. Once an antiperspirant formula developed, the sunscreens annexed an entire department, but even the expanded floorspace fell short to the demand. With no other sales space, specialty sunscreens found placement behind the pharmaceutical window, muscling out the anti-depressants.